Sometimes, you just need someone who is/has been right where you are. And with the addition of kids, that means finding mom friends. You may wonder why you need to find mom friends when you already have friends… well, we’re about to tell you.
Hair in a top-knot-messy-bun. Three-day-old leggings, plastered either with boogers or spit-up, maybe both. A gaggle of kids, some still in jammies, one in the same princess dress she’s worn for three weeks straight, one in nothing but his skivvies, or at least he will be as soon as he squirms out of your arms and can run.
This isn’t about being the put-together mom, the has-it-all-figured-out mom, or even the get-out-of-the-grocery-store-without-a-tantrum mom.
Today’s playdate, the outing you’re on, and the people you’re with are just as much about you as you are about your kids.
This friend is your Mommy Safe Zone.
This is where you can tell her the most horrifying and humbling truths of being a mom, and she won’t judge. She’ll hug you. She’ll offer you another cup of coffee. She’ll see your mountain of laundry and maybe even help fold it, even while she has her own mountain at home. She’ll climb into the pit with you and just be there. She’ll celebrate with you. Cheer you on. She’ll be your 2 am text message when the baby just won’t sleep and your 2 pm text message when he FINALLY poos in the potty.
When I became a mom, I had almost no friends who were moms. I still have friends who aren’t moms. And while they would (and do!) love me, hold me, talk to me, and speak the truth to me, they don’t always get me. They don’t always get why I haven’t showered or why I can’t seem to remember the word for those things that open the door to my house….oh, that’s right, keys.
The people who have known you forever, stood up at your wedding, and saw you at your worst and best are still indispensable as friends. They probably share some of the qualities of mom friends.
But sometimes, you just need someone who is/has been right where you are. And with the addition of kids comes the addition of mom friends.
8 Reasons You Need Mom Friends
Mom friends understand that you may never have a conversation, from start to finish, without an interruption.
These interruptions will cause you to be derailed to the point that you may be texting the rest of the conversation to each other later, scheduling another playdate to try to finish it, or finally finish talking about it in approximately three months.
Mom friends don’t just accept the mess; they appreciate it.
They get the energy it takes to find all 93 noodles that hit the floor during craft time. They so get why your hair has someone else’s toothpaste in it. And they don’t just accept you for the mess that you are; they see it as a masterpiece of what you are juggling daily.
And, mom friends feel more comfortable in a mess.
I recently had a playdate, you know, for the kids, where the mom said, “And my house is just messy enough to feel comfortable in,” and how true that statement is! If your house is crazy neat and tidy when I get there, I won’t be able to share my messiness with you as easily, and I’ll be more reserved.
Mom friends don’t let you miss soccer sign-ups.
Or ballet. Or tee ball. Or art classes. Or whatever the thing is that their kid does that your kid may also be interested in. This means you get to hang out an extra time each week with a cup of coffee in hand and not sitting beside either of your laundry mountains.
Mom friends don’t run from poo, vomit, spit up, or any other bodily fluid.
When fluid starts shooting from any child, they take action. They round up kids and create an elaborate game to entertain them while the mess is contained. They bathe someone. They let you cry while they clean it up.
Mom friends want to know where you got your bangin’ leggings.
Even if they are three days old and covered in food and other mystery substances, they see you made an effort when you purchased them. And they want to affirm that while saving themselves significant time while shopping.
Mom friends know that no time is really off-limits for a text message.
You can send a message at 3 am and not be a nuisance, and she’ll get back to you when she’s awake with her own kid.
Mom friends just know when you need to get out of the house, when you need a change of scenery, or when you feel like you can’t leave your house but need someone to talk to.
They sacrifice nap schedules, showers, and catching up on housework to be there for you. And you would do the same thing for them.
Need another reason for mom friends?
Sometimes, mom friends are the people who are the best at helping us get through from one day to another.