By Daja, Contributing Writer
The current birth rate in the U.S. is 1.9 children per woman. [source] That number seems to be holding steady. More and more it’s like I have to give reasons why it is OK that I have more than my allotted number of children. So, I brainstormed a few.
Why I have more than 1.9 kids:
- That first kid is OK, but that 9/10 one is a real odd ball.
- I need the entertainment. Nothing, and I mean, nothing is as entertaining as watching a miniature version of yourself or your spouse walking around with a colander on his head singing A Bicycle Built For Two.
- Social Security is in trouble and we all know it. Finding a job that includes retirement planning is equally frustrating. So, we had a lot of children instead. My plan is as follows: 3 months at each child’s house on a regular rotation. Each child only has to put up with ol’ mom and dad every couple years. Should work, right?
- More birthday cake. There’s really never enough cake is there?
- Everyone needs an excuse to drink more coffee.
- I need an excuse to drink more wine.
- I loved dressing my dolls when I was a kid. Now I don’t have to outgrow it.
- Two words: Carpool. Lane.
- When traveling by plane, you get to board first and get that prime overhead compartment storage space.
- Apparently God thinks I need a lot of sanctification before I am ready for heaven.
- Having a lot of children has saved me from the smugness of having it all together when I just had one.
- Being a mother of a lot of kids is a daily school of improving my body image and self-esteem.
- My kids are never bored. There is always a sibling ready to play baseball or go sledding or play cards. So I don’t have to.
- It’s nearly impossible to grow up to be selfish in a big family. Sharing and considering the needs of others is absolutely essential.
- So is learning to chew quietly. And there is always a sibling there to remind you to close your mouth.
- We get to drive a big car. So awkwardly bulky we named it “The Big Sexy.” You can’t do that when drive a Civic.
- They say grandkids are the best part of growing old. I am going to be the happiest old lady there ever was.
- Christmas morning. Seriously, having a big family is worth it for that magic alone.
- Having kids is like a friend making factory. Don’t let anyone tell you that twos are terrible or that the teenage years are horrible. They are the best ever. I have like nine of my best friends living in my house. It’s like slumber party all the time!
- Love is not like a pie that has to be divided among the nine children with someone getting the crumbs. Love is a fountain that always multiplies and never divides.