Image by USACE European District
Happy summer vacation!
A lot of kids have just gotten out of school for the summer, and families are enjoying it. Back-to-school isn’t even on their radar yet. I get it! Who wants to think about school when you just got out, and the weather is so gorgeous?
I want to talk to you about one aspect of back-to-school, though, that’s really important. (And it’s not just back-to-school — it’s also for new parents and parents-to-be.) It’s about a big decision you have to make: which vaccines to get your child (if any) and when. You have the right to make the vaccine choice for yourselves.
But kids can’t go to school without their shots!! They are required!
This is one of the biggest concerns that parents bring to me. They’re on the fence about vaccines. They feel some are important, but maybe some aren’t. Or they want to space them out more. They feel pressure to get their children fully caught up before they start school, though, because they believe their children can’t attend school without the complete vaccine schedule. But that’s wrong.
Nothing against those parents — our culture has gone pretty far to hide this choice from parents. They lie by omission, or even by pressuring parents with incorrect “facts” constantly. We want to turn that around, and empower parents to make the decisions that are right for their families and no one else.
A Culture of Fear
A lot of parents feel honestly confused about the vaccine issue. Everywhere they turn, it seems like someone is screaming at them that vaccines are a requirement and vaccine-preventable diseases are deadly and terrible and their children will probably die if they don’t get all their vaccines on time. There’s really no balance to this conversation.
More than one parent has heard that vaccines are controversial for the very first time, and has gone to their doctor, saying, “I heard… What should I do?” They have honest questions. They want their doctor to patiently answer those questions, to help them feel comfortable with their vaccine decision.
Instead of patient answers, they’re met with hysterics — “Do you want your child to DIE? Vaccines are safe and effective! Parents who don’t vaccinate are irresponsible morons and are practically guilty of child abuse! You must vaccinate your child on the CDC schedule or I will kick you out of my practice!”
What is a confused parent to do with that sort of response??
A whole lot more parents are becoming increasingly confused and upset because this is the sort of fear-based reaction that’s become common whenever someone mentions questioning vaccines. Jennifer Margulis, MD, was recently branded as an “anti-vaccine nut job” because she asked some realistic, necessary questions about vaccine safety. She fully vaccinates her own children. She was vilified by the culture of fear, because she dared to ask questions. She’s an MD…who vaccinates. That is just how ridiculous and over-the-top some people are about the vaccine issue.
This post is really not about how crazy that has become. I just want to acknowledge that if you are confused and feel like the world is screaming at you and you don’t know why, it’s not your imagination. It really is that nuts.
This post is actually about helping you, as a parent, find resources to make your own decision, and helping you know your rights — so that you can stand up for yourself.
For more on vaccine research, see all our vaccine posts.
Parental Rights and Vaccine Choice
At Modern Alternative Mama, we’re on your side.
That means that if you choose to fully vaccinate on schedule, we support you.
If you choose an alternative or delayed schedule, we support you.
If you choose no vaccines at all, we support you.
It is your right to choose what medical care your children receive. Not the state’s, nor the school’s, and certainly not ours. It is our goal to see that you know your rights, and that you exercise them. This is going to be the case no matter how many temper tantrums silly adults throw about “harming society” by not vaccinating. (Sending your kids to school with a fever or hacking cough is far more dangerous than sending them to school unvaccinated…and parents do that all the time.)
Your child may attend public school in most states, no matter what vaccines he has or hasn’t received. It’s not “all or nothing,” either. You may sign an exemption form even if your child has received or will receive some vaccines. Simply don’t list them on the form — it’s not the school’s business what your child’s medical situation is, anyway. (It’s sad that we feel we have to make our child’s medical decisions based on “school rules,” isn’t it?)
These states offer three potential exemptions (medical, religious, and personal belief/philosophical):
- North Dakota
*CA now requires a doctor to sign off on the philosophical exemption
These states off two potential exemptions (medical or religious):
- South Dakota
- South Carolina
- North Carolina
- New York+
- Rhode Island
- New Jersey
- Washington, D.C.
+Exemption can be difficult to get
These states have only medical:
- West Virginia
In these final two states, exemptions are typically very hard to get.
To obtain an exemption:
- Find out what options are available in your state.
- Choose the exemption that best represents your beliefs.
- Download the appropriate form from your state’s website and fill it out.
- If you choose a religious exemption, you do NOT need to “prove” what your religious beliefs are, and it does not need to be an official part of your church doctrine. “I believe God created us perfectly and vaccines interfere with God-given health” is perfectly fine. The state may not question you on this. Some states try to question it, or even ask a religious official to sign off on it — technically that is illegal.
- Exemptions (generally) do NOT need to be notarized, though some will tell you they need to be. Double check your state’s laws.
- Turn your exemption in with your child’s medical paperwork instead of the vaccine record.
These are the laws! Sometimes, people will be told:
- There are no exemptions; vaccines are mandatory
- Exemptions require a doctor’s note (only in CA is this true)
- Exemptions must be notarized
- Getting the shots is “easier”
- Exemptions require a statement from a religious official
Some of these are simply misunderstandings. Some of these are said with the intent to confuse parents or keep them from seeking exemptions. Many schools send home a form that says something like “Until or unless your child is up to date on their vaccines, they may not attend school.” They do not mention the exemption forms.
Should you wish to use an exemption, and should you receive a note that your child is not up to date and therefore cannot attend school, please send this form back to the school with your signed exemption form attached with a note about what the state’s laws are. It would be helpful to include a personal note saying something like “Please change the wording of the vaccine paperwork you send to families, letting them know there is an exemption available if they don’t have or wish to receive some or all vaccines.” More and more moms are (respectfully) talking to school officials about this and some are changing the wording! Every little bit helps.
If you run into a school official who, for whatever reason, denies that you can use an exemption and seems unaware of the law, and unwilling to learn, find a different school official. Go over his/her head if you need to. Do not put up with bullying — exercise your right to choose.
Advocacy for Exemptions
As you can see above, not all states have all available exemptions. And recently, some states have tried or been successful in limiting when and how parents can use certain exemptions (California succeeded and Colorado tried — but thankfully failed).
We believe all parents should have a choice. That all states should have all three exemptions available and that parents should be able to use them freely.
On June 30, we will be asking everyone to take action. Specifically, we will be asking everyone who believes that parents should have this choice (whether or not you personally choose to use the exemptions) to write to their Congressmen at the state level, either thanking them for the exemptions in place and requesting that they keep them; or asking them to create additional options and make exemptions easier to obtain.
It is our hope that with a massive grass-roots campaign like this, we can let our lawmakers know that CHOICE is important to us! If we don’t let them know this, then the few very loud voices that are screaming that we should not have a choice will win this fight, and our exemptions will be stripped away.
It doesn’t matter to us whether you vaccinate fully, partially, or not at all. All that matters is that you believe that each family has the right to make their own decision about vaccines. Even if you fully vaccinate, if you believe others should have the right to choose not to, please participate!
How you can help:
- SHARE this post with your friends and family, so that everyone is aware of what their rights currently are.
- TALK about the upcoming advocacy campaign, so that others will be ready to participate on June 30.
- WRITE to your Congressmen and encourage others to do the same. On June 30, we will provide a sample letter as well as links to find who your Congressmen (and women) are.
This campaign is a respectful one. This campaign is about politely but firmly standing up for your rights.
In future months, we will have more ideas for you on how to help educate other parents on their rights, and how to stand up for those rights!